My Kid Is Napping (…On Choices)

My 15 month old toddler is napping.


If you don’t have kids, you don’t understand how wonderful this is. You might think  you do, much like I did pre-baby when I thought I knew just how hard parenting would be. But until you’ve been in the trenches, day after day, giving your entire being over to another tiny helpless human’s existence, you don’t really know.

I remember reading posts from parents talking about how precious naps were, how excited they were to have time to themselves. I remember thinking, “Gosh, why do these parents hate spending time with their children so much? I want a baby so bad, I’ll relish every moment and will never think a single negative thought about being by their side!” (Insert Judging Here).

Now I understand. From 7am wakeup until 7pm bedtime, I am “on”. Mom-mode. Changing diapers, prepping meals, feeding meals, running mom errands, playing with the baby, tending to his tantrums, engaging in the 100th game of peek-a-boo per day, cleaning up after his messes, entertaining him, taking him to places, making sure he’s warm enough, isn’t hungry, is feeling good, snuggling him every time he bonks his head on something. Thank god for my weekday nanny so that I can, you know, work a job.

So right now, he’s napping. I have anywhere from 40 minutes – 2 hours to spend however the heck I feel like. Sweet, precious time. I obsessively check the baby monitor, hoping that today is a long nap so I can really enjoy a break. How should I spend it? Here’s what today (a typical day) looks like. I could:

Play a game. After all, I hit 110 in World of Warcraft and promptly never played again. I haven’t even unlocked world quests yet. I could play a little bit of Overwatch with my friends like I’ve been doing the past few nights. I could snuggle on the couch and play Skyrim SE, which for some masochistic reason I decided to tackle again. I could play a game I bought in previous Steam sales, one of the hundreds I haven’t played yet. I could log into League and try to remember how to not feed.

Watch TV. My Netflix queue is a mile long. I’m years behind on movies. I have more shows to watch than anyone I know. I’ve never seen The Walking Dead. I haven’t finished S3 of Black Mirror. I want to catch up on Bates Motel. I have a few documentaries I want to see. I want to catch up on This Is Us. I have shows to start that sound awesome that I haven’t had time for, like Atlanta and You’re the Worst. I never finished the latest season of Transparent, or Orange is the New Black. I have the Sense8 Christmas special waiting for me. My god, I haven’t watched the Gilmore Girls reboot. WTF is wrong with me?

Take a shower. Since my son was my alarm clock at 6:45 this morning, I didn’t get to shower. I’m wallowing in my own filth today. I miss the days when I could take a shower whenever I wanted, slowly. I remember when I had time to shave my effing legs! Hooboy.

Clean up. No real cleaning happens while my kid is awake. Sure, I pickup after his toys a billion times a day, but I can’t really make any meaningful progress on keeping my house clean. I could use this time to switch the laundry, fold some clean laundry, sweep/mop my floors, do the dishes, take the trash out, dust something. Thankfully I don’t have to clean my bathrooms and scrub the toilets, because that’s how I spent yesterday’s nap. Although, they’re probably all dirty again. FML.

Read a book. One of my goals for 2017 is to read more. I’m currently tackling The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck and I can already tell it’s going to stick with me. I need to give a lot less fucks. I have a Goodreads list that I will never get through, even if I live to be 4,000. I have some educational books I want to read. I have a few fantasy books I’ve started and never finished. I want to re-read all the Harry Potter books.  There’s a bunch of parenting books I want to devour. I will probably never do any of these things.

Learn something. There’s a few online MOOC and certifications I’d like to tackle sooner rather than later. Google Analytics certification, for one. Content Marketing stuff. Some SEO things. All sorts of stuff to make me smarter, a better person, better at my job, etc. Who knows if those things will happen. This is so far down the priority list that sadly, it will probably never come to fruition.

Meal plan. Later today, I have to go to the grocery store. If I don’t want to end up relying on frozen crap, I should probably plan out what’s on the menu.

Prep lunch. When he wakes up, he’ll be hungry. So I should probably have something nutritious planned for him instead of just a peanut butter & jelly sandwich.

Side gig stuff. Little known fact: I sell LuLaRoe clothes on the side. It’s a fun hobby that costs me more than I make, but I do enjoy it. I have invoices to send, shipping to do, clothes to organize and package. But I usually save this until the nighttime when Henry is sleeping.

Well, looks like this naptime is done. I spent this entire nap writing this blog post, because he only gave me an hour of “me” time. No shower I guess. ^_^


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